I hate spider webs

It’s not so much the spiders, although I’m not a fan, it’s the sticky webs that get me. I don’t care if I brush up against one and it only attaches to my shirt and not my skin, I’ll still do a dance where I’ll look like I’m being electrocuted.

The other day I walked out from my front door to the car and as I got under the tree I saw that my nose was an inch away from making contact with an enormous brown spider, and that my right shoulder had dislodged the anchor strand which extended to the grass underneath. I backed away slowly, distancing myself from the horror of a sticky web, and did the dance to get it off my shirt.

The next day I wisely walked around the tree. However, I had underestimated the anchor strand, and grossly underestimated his tireless nocturnal endeavors, because the web extended beyond the tree and grass underneath it over the walkway thirty feet away! I walked snoot first into a sticky strand, and because it was SO unexpected, I did the dance in double time. By now I’m wondering what the neighbors think.

The next day I left for work in a hurry and shot out the front door at full speed. I remembered the web situation in time, and stopped short. I had a bag of used kitty litter in my hand which was destined for the trash can way over in the spider-free zone, so I started swinging it wildly all around. In front of me, above me, spastically. I hoped that the bag would hold and I wouldn’t have ended up spraying kitty litter everywhere. But the web situation was at a higher Def-Con level, so I proceeded with the crazy bag swinging until I got to the car.

The next morning I was prepared. I brought the BROOM out with me. As I walked to the car, swinging the broom in great arcs and sweeps above me and around me like a pinwheel, I looked either like a crazy woman losing her mind, or a taut Warrior Princess swinging my sabre. I rather like to think it was the latter.


6 thoughts on “I hate spider webs

  1. That is a great post….I have been in that crazy warrior princess pose before…fight or flight??…..we must unite againt evil webs everywhere, unless the spider is the web then I'm out of there….every man for himself…..LOL

  2. I've found a way to fix the problem each year. Go out every night and knock down the web once they've started. Even the most determined will only try 4 times maximum before they give up and look for a better spot.

    I know the feeling and the dance and am very grateful my neighbours haven't caught me on video. Sadly I have to do the dance twice before I remember to do something about it before go sailing into a huge web.

  3. Anonymous, thanks! I'll try that. This morning it had misted heavily and I had my broom with me. I stopped short when I saw the huge web that showed up with rain drops on it. It hadn't been my imagination! I could see it clear as day. It was strung at eye level across at least thirty feet over my walkway. I am going to do your method, thanks again!

  4. I can relate! Every day I walk my dog in a field behind our house, but it requires walking through a short stand of woods to get there, and there are always spider webs across the path. I never fail to catch one on my face! I always wind up doing frantic ninja moves and let out a few whoops… Fortunately, the neighbors can't see, or they'd definitely think I'm crazy… :o) Glad it's not just me!

  5. Great post! We deal with the spiders all the time. Knocking webs and chasing them all through our little two bedroom house. I've danced in the past and now with my poor balance have to send my family to deal with the range of spiders.

    Hope you are having a good week otherwise.

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